chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
i believe in u and ur pee
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Randomize