All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
Randomize
