We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
