He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Randomize
