He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Randomize
