question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Randomize
