i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
