When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
