According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
tell me about the fingering
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