You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
You smell like a Billy Joel song
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
