My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
i barfeds in our rink
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
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