Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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