Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Randomize
