So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
