they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Randomize