All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
