dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Randomize
