we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
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