Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
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