already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
