I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
So much Jack, so little girl.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Randomize
