Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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