We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
