i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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