Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
This is the high leading the old right now
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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