Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I could fuck to npr.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
