I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
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