The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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