You made me cry and you don't even care
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
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