im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
you had me at cake vodka
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
You pole danced in your parka.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
