i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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