Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
