if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
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