Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
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