i can't believe i had my finger in that
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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