WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
I AM VODKA MAN
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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