I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize
