I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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