How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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