We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Blow job season was short but glorious.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
