why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize