I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize