She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Randomize
