omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Randomize