the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Randomize