I look better un-naked...
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
