It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize