the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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