yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Randomize
