next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
