dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
And then he peed in my hair
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