well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Couch. On fire.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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