Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
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