I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Randomize
