the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
