I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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