I just pynch a tree in the face
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I believe in your delicious
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
