you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize