After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
i love accidental penises.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
