at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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