We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
