great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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