So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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