remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
