HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Randomize
