coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
I believe in your delicious
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize