do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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