i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
