would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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