So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Randomize
