if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
