the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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