she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
