i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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