Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
