Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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