Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Randomize
