In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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